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Treatment
:: Health :: Coping
:: Goals :: Career
:: Life in ruins? :: They
don't understand
Life in Ruins? - Building
a New Life
Are you content to spend the rest of your life being
a poor victim whose 'life has been ruined' by an accident? Or do
you want to have a happy and rewarding new life? Trauma is life-enhancing
if it teaches you to appreciate friends and family and live life
to the full rather than taking things for granted.
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Forgive yourself and anyone responsible
for your injury.
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Learn from your old life.
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Examine your current life.
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Be inspired by ordinary people
coping under extraordinary circumstances.
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Design a new life.
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Forgive yourself and anyone responsible
for your injury.
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Forgiveness helps you by dispersing some of the anger and bitterness.
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Forgiveness makes no difference to any trial or legal claim
for damages. There is a common misconception that to forgive
someone is to declare them innocent of any wrongdoing.
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Accidents happen - most are preventable in hindsight and many
are due to human error. Is it so hard to forgive yourself and
others for being human? Deliberate acts are harder to forgive
but the benefits are just as great.
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If only … You probably could have avoided being in the wrong
place at the wrong time. But it happened. Agonising about what
you might have done will only cause further distress. Learn
from what you could have done - it may prevent accidents in
the future - and put it behind you.
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Learn from your old life.
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Your injury may have ruined your old life but why let it ruin
your entire life? You will never know what life would have been
like today if you had not been injured. Life is unpredictable.
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What aspects of your old life did you find most rewarding and
enjoyable? For example; being creative, independent and helping
others. How can you incorporate them into your new life? I enjoyed
being creative as a research scientist and now enjoy doing research
for my creative writing.
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What were your limitations? My accident changed one set of
limitations for another - I used to be short of time, now I
have plenty of time but pain limits my activities.
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Examine your current life.
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What are the advantages? What have you learnt?
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What do you miss?
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What frustrates you?
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Do you have a sense of purpose?
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Is your life brightened by fun and laughter?
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Have you adjusted to the changes in your life?
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Losing control over your life and becoming dependent on others
can be devastating for anyone who is fiercely independent. But
we are all dependent on others - how long would you survive
alone on a desert island?
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Be inspired by ordinary people coping
under extraordinary circumstances.
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People who cope with disability and terminal illness can be
a real source of inspiration.
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Christopher Reeve (Superman) who was paralysed from the neck
down in a riding accident defines a hero as, 'An ordinary individual
who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming
obstacles'. His injury affected every organ in his body and
everyone in his life.
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The Bristol Programme by Penny Brohn
Still Me by Christopher Reeve
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Design a new life.
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Life is what you make of it - an oyster turns an irritating
grain of sand into a pearl. Appreciate and use your abilities
and enjoy discovering new abilities.
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Be realistic about your limitations and accept your condition.
I used to enjoy 'juggling 10 balls in the air,' now 9 of those
balls are taken up with pain management so I have to accept
a slower pace of life.
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What would you like to incorporate into your physical and emotional
life?
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How can they be achieved? Be patient and persistent. If you
really want to achieve something, you will find a way of doing
it.
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Set realistic goals to achieve the
life you want. 10 years ago my life was in ruins but 2002 was
the best year of my life - despite my disability.
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